differences.

One of my favorite books is called the Last Lecture, it's written by Randy Pausch. He was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University. It is a truly amazing book about life and achieving childhood dreams. I first read it a few years ago after it was first released and I read it again early last year. I am beginning to read it for a third time now. The book received its name because of Professor Pausch finding out he was dying from cancer, he was devastated. Living a normal life, still young and with a loving family, he realized he only had a few months to live, so he started to prepare his last lecture to all of his family, friends, and students. He wanted this to be a special occasion, and not a sad one. With the thought of his young kids not being able to remember him as they grew, he wanted this book and lecture to guide them in life and hold as a memory of him. I enjoy this book a lot because I often take life for granted. One of my favorite quotes from the book is when Pausch says, "No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse." It's now 2014, another year in the books and a new one up ahead. Graduation is now months away, I'm nervous, but ready to see what this one will have in store. Sometimes I forget about what's up the road and only stop to realize what's right in front of me at the time. Life is full of interesting things and people, I think that taking the time and finding them is important. 

summer rain.

the summer rain is calling my name. 
i hear it.
like a lost plane in the middle of the night sky. 
often muffled by the screaming sounds of sadness. 
we're all trapped in a box by what's expected. 
open your eyes and never expect anything.
only life knows what it's going to bring.
raindrops hit the window sill. 
time freezes and I become still. 
still waking up, still dreaming. 
still wishing for better days.
battered winds still come. 
now i'm free. 


- this is a short poem that i wrote a few months ago that i found in my journal today and decided to share. 

The giving of thanks.

Having life discussions and dreading the college lifestyle we've grown to love and hate over the years with one of my dearest friends, Shealy, at our favorite local coffee shop, 929. We've known each other since the first week of school freshman year and I instantly felt a connection between and a friendship developing into one of the people I now will one day miss the most when it becomes time to move on to the next chapter. 

Now, as the first semester of senior year comes to an abrupt end and I'm further fearing the unknown. Thanksgiving is 3 days away and I've been thinking of all the things I'm thankful for in life. We often think of things such as family, friends, and good health, but never grasp the full effects of it all and thankful enough for the joyous times until it becomes too late. We're the lucky ones, the wild youth, and the reckless. We constantly look at the bad things in life and try to alter the cons to outweigh the pros to many of life's problems. College seems to dismantle all the certainties of life. For me, it has been about figuring out the things I believe in the most and discovering all the enjoyable moments that come unraveled as time moves along. 

One day, I'm going to be old and grey. I'm going to look back and try to remember all the times where I achieved everything I put my mind to and then I'm going to have some of those deep regrets. There's all kinds of ways to view the world. You can't see the world clearly through darkness, only through light. Today I'm still searching for that light. I'm in a place where every day is a struggle to fight. Imagine each day like a scene from your favorite movie, listening to the sweet sounds of a perfect soundtrack. 

Uncertainty.

Wander in this world barefoot, no worrying about putting shoes on. That takes too long. You may miss all the things you wanted to see. Chase happiness and become everything you wanted to become. I see the sun coming down, that's like a closing curtain on a life full of dreams. Go crazy, let out quiet screams. The mind flows like a hidden stream. Some spend an entire lifetime searching for true satisfaction and adventure. The thrill of waking up a new day and feeling like a new man. Coffee thoughts and long nights. Facing new crossroads and hitting new brick walls teaches two of life's most important lessons. Open a book and discover something new. Burning through different chapters, looking how to make it to the end. We all go through things. Things that make us want to forget it all. We're all human. Mistakes everywhere, all I can do is close my eyes and escape for a few moments. That's life. Moments that bring you down to new lows and moments that take your breath away. 

rebel against society.

Sitting at my parents' house where I spent most of my life growing up and being innocent in the world. Looking through old family portraits. I'm in love with this world. Misunderstood souls. Lost souls. Free thinkers and creative minds. All waiting to be found. We're living in an artificial world. Trying to see the real and the fake. Life goes on. People and places come through life like the blink of an eye. We often take moments for granted, both the good and bad. Thinking back, over the last year i've seen and done many things. I've been to the inauguration of Barack Obama, arguably the most powerful person on the face of the Earth. I've traveled far and away to concerts to see artists i've always loved and ones that I've found a new love for. I've seen some of the greatest artwork ever created. I could spend countless hours just walking around some museums again to see works by Picasso, Salvador Dalí, El Greco, Van Gogh, and even Andy Warhol. I was mesmerized. I got to experience a life outside of the US for the first time. I marched and protested in my first environmental rally. I grew from all these experiences. Being lost and in a new state of mind is inspiring. Little things like photographs, artwork, poetry, music, and books all tell a story. We often don't realize it at first. But to think that some creative spirit once captured life and got to express those feelings and show us the way they saw it is mesmerizing. I keep a journal full of thoughts and ideas. Late nights and early mornings. I feel the most alive. I want to further pursue a greater love for photography and writing before this year ends. So many things, so little time. good times. bad times. Moving like a roller coaster. Up and down, highs and lows. These are the moments that help further shape my life and I'm forever grateful. We are the world.

A better tomorrow...

Recently, I've opened my eyes more to important issues that I was always been hesitant to learn about before. One of the issues that has started to grow onto me is the environment that surrounds us. Issues like recycling, climate change, and finding more effective ways to take care of the planet have all made me realize how careless we could be. Thanks to my really cool friend Meg, who helped me see some of these types of things. I always wondered how one person could affect the world as a whole, but by just being that one person you're already making a difference and taking an initiative that most are either too afraid or still in denial about a problem even existing. Me becoming more involved with Students for a Sustainable Campus group at school and my Earth Science class will both end up being life changing experiences for me this year. My love for venturing off outdoors and photography and experiencing new things have all made me appreciate all of this more as well. Next week, I'll be attending a conference called Power Shift in Pittsburgh with friends and thousands of other young people to learn more about these problems that face our generation and the future we hope to live in one day. Think of me as I prepare for this journey that lies ahead. Do the things that make you happy and take the risks that leave an impact on how you look at life. 

Moments like this.

It's officially been two months since i've been back from Spain. I think about it everyday. I've made a collage on my wall to remind myself everyday of some of the greatest moments in life i ever had. It's hard some days being back. I wonder what the next day will bring. It's my senior year at school, and to be honest it's frightening. Crazy to think that i will soon be without a lot of the friends I've grown to know and love over these last few years. I wonder where i'll be a year from now. Sometimes even 5 or 10 years from now. My birthday was about a month ago, and ever since then I realized that i had more responsibility to take on. Recently, I heard in a scene in one of my favorite movies, Good Will Hunting, "you'll have bad times, but that'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to". I took this to heart, and I feel like time is one of the most precious things we have in life and that to cherish it each day is a remarkable thing. I remember the days growing up, having no worries in the world but just being a kid. How I miss those days.